Aside for spending time with your family, the best part of Thanksgiving by far is the delicious food. As good as all the turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and everything else is, those of us who smoke weed can agree that it’s even better when you’re pleasantly—but not too—high. Below you’ll read a definitive ranking of the ten best Thanksgiving foods to eat while baked.
10. Cranberry Sauce
Personally, I don’t care for cranberry sauce. But if you’re blazed, staring at the can-shaped blob of gelatinous goo can be mesmerizing and provides a nice distraction when the conversation suddenly shifts to something terrible, like politics or your plans for the future.
9. Sweet Potato Anything
Anything with sweet potato is, in this blogger’s mind, a disappointment and a bit of a mystery. Why not just make everything out of regular potatoes? That said, its mushy consistency and orange hue are appealing, and keeps any dish with the vegetable in it from sinking farther down this list.
Peas are okay flavor-wise, especially if they’re soaked in butter the way my grandmother prepares them. But they’re kind of difficult to eat when sober, much less when high, and they pale in comparison to other Thanksgiving sides.
Dressing, or stuffing as heathens call it, has grown on me over the years. It’s a nice compliment for turkey and contains all sorts of flavors that are interesting to try to sort out while buzzed. But it’s low on this list because it’s objectively unpleasant to look at, even if you’re completely blitzed.
6. Green Bean Casserole
Fun to play with, if not exactly super tasty.
5. Mac and Cheese
Macaroni and cheese is one of the best foods to eat anytime, whether your perfectly sober or perfectly baked, which is one reason why it’s fourth on this list and not higher: You don’t need a special holiday to enjoy it.
4. Pumpkin Pie
While I’m on the record as being mostly neutral about pies and I do not enjoy pumpkin, it’s important to recognize that many, if not most, people love pie with a passion that borders on lunacy. So in the interest in keeping the peace I’m putting the beloved pumpkin pie in the top 5.
3. Mashed Potatoes
Like mac and cheese, mashed potatoes are always delicious. But there’s something especially delicious about having them on Thanksgiving, when you can add them to the following two items to make a sort of Super Thanksgiving Sandwich.
Turkey is the most iconic Thanksgiving food for good reason. While the myth that it makes you sleepy has been disproven, it will definitely make you tired when you eat a pound of it after smoking some of your favorite indica.
1. Crescent Rolls
I could eat hundreds of these tasty little rolls, which my family for some reason only busts out on Turkey Day. In addition to being wonderful to eat on their own, they are, as noted above, the perfect bread to pair with buttery, rich mashed potatoes and thick, juicy slices of turkey to create fantastic lil sandwiches.